Dating Past 40: 5 Tips You Must Know

By Mirabelle Summers
Author of Get A Great Guy Guide

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Dating Past 40: 5 Tips You Must Know

Hello ladies. Today we’re going to be having a talk about how to date with confidence over 40.

Maybe you’ve never met Mr Right, or have recently gone through a divorce. It can be hard knowing where to start in the dating world.

In this day and age, people are a lot more transient in their careers and lifestyle choices than they were 50 years ago. Divorce rates are on the rise, and the dating scene is blooming for those wishing to find love in mid-life.

But all too often we are hearing from amazing women that being single in middle age means:

– They are a failure
– They are ‘past it’
– They will never find a man
– They may as well give up trying


Dating in mid-life is truly an amazing opportunity.

You have the benefit of already having a strong idea of who you are and how you want to live your life. This is your chance to now find a great man to share all of your joys, interests and dreams with.

In this article, we explore 5 ESSENTIAL pieces of advice which will allow you to approach dating over 40 with confidence.

1. Embrace who you are

When we are in our twenties, we are still finding our way in the world, and usually do not have a true picture of who we are as a person.

Our relationship partners are often chosen more on attraction rather than shared interests and our lives are constantly changing.

In middle age and later in life, we have the benefit of having an already fully developed sense of self. We know what we want – and what we don’t!

We have the benefits of being able to reflect on past relationships and what we learned from these experiences.

This does not mean we cannot still change and grow, but does mean we have more of an idea of what we are looking for in a relationship partner and what our limits are.

So be confident and let men see exactly who you are and what you enjoy in life. Being open will make it a lot easier to find a partner who has interests and views which match your own.

2. Be open to new ways of meeting men

The best way to approach dating over 40 is to get creative!

Why not join an internet dating site? This is a great way to match up with men who have similar interests to you – you will be surprised with how many amazing eligible men are out there.

Other great ways to meet men are through getting involved in community activities, joining a gym or sports club, and just asking all of your friends if they know of anyone who would be good for you. It is amazing how many couples meet through mutual friends.

Just making an effort to get out of the house more will greatly increase your chances of bumping into a special someone. Going to your local café, library, pool… the possibilities are endless.

If you meet a man at one of your favourite places, chances are you already have a lot in common.

3. It will feel different – that’s OK!

Don’t be put off if you don’t feel the same as you did dating as when you did when you were 20. Times have changed, you have changed – embrace it.

Enjoy the good things about being a little older and wiser. You have the means to go to a nice restaurant rather than cheap BYO, you have you own house (or his!) to go back to at the end of the night.

Not to mention being a little more experienced in the bedroom department!

Remember that this all may be new to the man you are dating as well. And one of the best things about older men is that they are generally a lot more upfront and honest with how they feel – you won’t have to put up with the silly games that men often play in their twenties.

4. Protect yourself

Beware of men who are after what you have!

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon to hear of seedy men taking advantage of older women, especially online. All too often you hear stories of women transferring money to their ‘lovers’ overseas and then never hearing from them again.

So keep your wits about you ladies.

Make sure that what he is really interested in is you, not your assets. If he starts asking early on about the contents of your bank account, this is a definite no-no.

Trust your instincts and if you do suspect you have come across a scammer, seek advice and notify the authorities.

5. Talk about your children

Dating can be more complicated when you have children.

But ladies this is not – and I repeat NOT a reason to avoid putting yourself out there.

It is important to always have your children’s needs at heart and to be putting your role as a mother first.

But remember that you also have your own needs as a woman, and deserve to be loved. The right man will make an effort with your family and will support and respect you in your role as a mother.

My main piece of advice here is to be open and honest with all involved. You do not want to get caught in a guilt trap, or feel like you have to hide any parts of your life.

This means being honest with your children – letting them know you are going to be spending time with a man other than their father.

Although the conversation will vary depending on your children’s ages and levels of understanding, the key here is to give the message that you love them, they are your number one priority and the fact that you are seeing someone is not going to change that.

This also means being honest and upfront with the man you are dating – let them know straight away that you have children rather than trying to hide this. Don’t be afraid that this will send him running – if this is the kind of reaction he gives then he is not worth your time!

Be proud of the fact that you are a mother – the right man will respect and value this very special part of your life. Chances are that men you meet may even have children of their own.

*** And if you’re looking for more great advice on how to get the man of your dreams (and avoiding men who waste your time or break your heart!), check out Get a Great Guy Guide.

Because no matter where you are at in life… we all deserve to live the dream and have a great man to share it with 🙂

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