By Mirabelle Summers
Author of Get A Great Guy Guide
If you want genuine men and not just any man, this will challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story, check this out…
How To Handle Rejection (And Make Him Realize His Mistake)
Whether it is being shot down from that hot guy at the bar, or being dumped after a long-term relationship, rejection always stings.
Being rejected by a man you love can really knock you back and shatter your self-image, making you feel unattractive and undesirable.
But there are many things which can help you to get through this tough time with dignity and strength so that you can bounce back even better than before.
Handling rejection with grace and not allowing it to bring you down will send a powerful message to the man who rejected you – that you are a woman of value, who does not need him to be happy.
1. Allow yourself to feel sad (temporarily!)
Rejection can evoke some very painful feelings, such as sadness, loss, grief, humiliation, and anger.
It’s perfectly natural to be feeling a bit down after a rejection. In fact, it is important to allow yourself to feel these emotions, as trying to ignore them is only going to do yourself harm.
Give yourself time to grieve about what could have been, but then make a choice to let these feelings of sadness go and move forward.
Allowing your low mood to drag on for weeks is unhealthy, and will only make the situation worse.
Continue below to learn how you can pick yourself up and regain a positive outlook after being rejected.
2. Respect his wishes
As much as you may want to be with him, you need to respect his wishes.
It is never okay to beg for him to take you back or have an angry outburst – this will not do you any favors.
Accepting that he doesn’t want to be with you and handling this with grace will allow you to maintain your dignity and self-respect.
He may have treated you really unfairly, or just plain hurt you by not returning your affections. But either way, this doesn’t mean you should hate him.
Hating him will only cause yourself more pain and allow the rejection to take over your mind.
Don’t let him cause you any more pain than he already has.
Instead, accept his rejection and cease contact with him – as EXCRUTIATING as it may be. Because as long as you keep up the contact between you, you are not going to give yourself a chance to begin the moving on process.
Ending contact with him right now will show him that you can make it on your own and don’t need him, which will earn you a lot of respect in his eyes.
And seeing you handle his exit from your life so easily is bound to shake his ego, and get him thinking about what he has given up.
3. Don’t live in hope that he will change his mind
It’s natural that the idea of him regretting his mistake and wanting you back will cross your mind.
But letting yourself be consumed by this idea will just cause you to put your life on hold and prevent you from moving on.
To be frank, if he rejected you because he wasn’t attracted to you or didn’t feel you are his type, that is not likely to change and trying to force it will only bring you unhappiness.
If you have broken up after a long-term relationship, chances are that maybe you weren’t so perfect together after all, and there is a man out there who will be a lot more perfect for YOU.
Remember, he is just one guy in a whole ocean of possibilities.
4. Surround yourself with people who will support you
Following a rejection, it’s important to be able to confide in close friends and family members, so they can support you and help to repair your self-confidence.
A problem shared is a problem halved, and bottling up your feelings will only cause you pain. Allow your loved ones to help make you feel better – just like you would do for them in the same boat.
There is nothing more comforting than hearing from your friends; “He wasn’t good enough for you anyway” and “It’s his loss, not yours”.
Just be sure to confide in your own friends – not HIS.
Trying to confide in his friends will just put them in an uncomfortable position, and may cause him to lose respect for you. It will not make your chances of getting back together any better.
5. Keep working on YOU
Sometimes rejection can be an opportunity for self-improvement.
While you can’t change whether or not a person is attracted to you, you can always make positive changes to your own appearance and the way that you interact with others.
Making positive changes to your health and wellbeing will increase feelings of self-confidence, and create positive energy that will attract others to you.
Indulging in ice cream and chocolate right now may give you a temporary fix to feeling miserable. But in the long term, packing on the pounds is only going to worsen your self-esteem.
So keep making an effort to look your best.
When you get up in the morning, have a shower, brush your hair and put on a little makeup (if you usually wear it).
Getting yourself out of bed and making an effort in your appearance will instantly make you feel more ready for the day and more in control of your emotions.
6. Keep up your normal routine
When we are rejected by someone, we can experience a temporary sense of loss of control in our world and feel all off balance.
During this time, keeping up our normal routine can actually help us to get back on our feet, put things into perspective, and bring feelings of security and relief.
So don’t let your life stop because of him – because that’s exactly what he’s expecting. Instead, take him by surprise.
Keep going to work, social events, sports practice, and anything else you’ve committed to.
Taking time off so you can wallow in sorrow at home is only going to make you feel worse – believe me.
7. Avoid alcohol
Avoid alcohol at all costs during this time!
Alcohol is something which can affect you in very different ways depending on what mood you’re in.
If you’re feeling happy and celebrating something special, a couple of wines can give you that extra buzz that adds to your already great mood.
However, if you’re feeling sad, low, and down on yourself, chances are alcohol is only going to make these feelings worse.
And worse yet, it may make you do something you’re going to regret the next day – like calling the guy who rejected you and begging him to change his mind.
You don’t want to be that girl, trust me.
So find other, healthier ways to take the edge off. For example, exercise is great for relieving stress and releasing endorphins, and a heart-to-heart with a close friend right now will do a lot more good than a bottle of wine.
8. Don’t go straight onto the next guy
After suffering a rejection, it can be tempting to look for a fling or one night stand to help you to feel sexy and desirable again.
But realistically, instead of helping you to heal, moving straight on to the next guy is probably only going to make you feel worse.
So take time to look after yourself and move on from your rejection before you get back out in the dating ring.
Of course, it is probably going to take you longer to move on if you have just experienced a relationship break-up, than if you were just turned down by a guy you met out at a bar one night.
However, once you have moved on and are again feeling happy and confident within yourself, definitely get yourself back out there!
Don’t let rejection from one guy hold you back from meeting the great guy who’s waiting just around the corner.
9. Remember that you do not need a man to be happy
A great man can add joy to your life, but true happiness comes from embracing who you are and feeling content with what you have, whether or not you are in a relationship.
You do not need a man to make you feel beautiful and valued – this can (and should) come from within yourself first.
Think about all the great people you do have in your life right now and all of the amazing things that make up who you are.
You do NOT need a man to be happy.
As we discussed earlier, it is unhealthy to live in hope that the man who turned you down will change his mind.
But you can be sure that handling the rejection with grace, ceasing contact with him, continuing to make an effort in your appearance, and getting on with your life will be the best ways to gain his respect and show him that you are a woman of value.
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