By Carlos Cavallo
Author of Passion Phrases
If you want to know what words men respond to, and make sure he doesn’t pull away, then I suggest you check this out…
Does He Like Me? – 7 Surprising Signs He’s Interested In You
It’s often a complete mystery to us when someone we like starts showing interest in us. It feels great, of course, but it’s still such a crazy random thing that we feel like we’re lucky it happened.
And if you feel lucky, you may feel fortunate – but you don’t feel like you’re in control of the situation.
Ultimately, you should have control of your love life…
And you can! It’s not hard – IF you understand the principles of why people fall for each other in the first place. I’m here to tell you that love IS predictable, – again, IF you understand the formula.
Have you ever found yourself wondering: “Why does he like ME?”
Or: “Does he like me? For REALSIES?”
Well, let’s talk about the first question first…
The WHY of ‘Why does he like me‘ should be clear to us all. But it’s connected so innately to our self-esteem that we often don’t want to admit that we wonder about it at all.
For every person, there are probably dozens of reasons why someone likes you…
- Your smile
- Your heart
- Your sense of humor
- Your generosity
- Your transparency and honesty
- Your legs
- Your taste in fashion
- Your perception
- Your common sense
Okay, this list could get really tiresome. And I’m sure you get the point.
The REAL question we’re asking here is, “Why does he like me – so I can know what to show him MORE of!”
And: “Why does he like me – so I know what to feel good about myself…”
No one gets tired of hearing how awesome they are. Primarily because this world doesn’t usually broadcast about your benefits. Usually, we only hear about our shortcomings.
That’s probably why I treasure the friends I have that remind me of the good parts of me. We always wonder if we’re right about ourselves.
Now let’s talk about the other question: “Does he like me?”
How do you know?
Well, let’s explore that in the 7 signs he likes you…
But, I have something important to get out of the way first –
You need to confess to yourself that you LIKE not knowing.
You like the mystery just as much – if not more – than the reality. It’s the same reason that Christmas day is nowhere near as fun as all those days before when you’re wondering what’s in all those presents.
There’s a delicious sense of anticipation and mystery that’s built into the very notion of wondering if he’s digging you.
And you LOVE that feeling…
We ALL do!
It’s something our brains were wired for. In fact, when you’re anticipating or wondering about a guy you’re interested in, your brain will start pumping hormones that help you fall for him in advance.
That’s right – you start falling in love simply by letting yourself think about a person too much. You don’t even need to interact with them before your brain starts getting attached.
It’s crazy, and it’s one of the reasons you can’t spend too much time indulging in wondering about him. The time you’re spending on this project is actually making you feel like you’re already connected to him, without knowing for sure.
This is why it can be extra crushing when a guy doesn’t like you – after all, you’ve just spent all that time ruminating and wondering! “Dangit! He’s gotta like me back!”
So don’t let that wondering create an “artificial relationship.”
I have coached many women (and I get about 10 or more emails every day from women) that feel they already have a relationship with a guy that they haven’t even spoken to or gone on a date with yet.
It feels real, but it’s just a fantasy until you make it real.
Does He Like Me? – Sign #1: He’s Still There…
Seriously, this is one signal that you can’t ignore, but we all take for granted.
Let’s say you’re out at a party, chilling with your friends, and a guy starts a conversation. If that guys keeps talking to you, you can be pretty sure he’s interested.
I know, I know, it’s not sexy. It’s not some outrageous form of chivalry, or even a wild story like you see in all those UNREALISTIC romantic comedies out there.
Yeah, I know you’d like some kind of super-romantic magical thing to happen that would tell you if he did like you or not – Like chasing you down with a glass slipper…
We all want a secret signal that we can spot so that we don’t have to risk feeling like a fool for revealing our own feelings.
But again, in reality – which is the only thing I deal in, folks – this is not the way you want to manage your love life.
The truth is that it’s rare that you’re going to have some wildly improbable meeting that results in marriage.
The only thing you need is: He said hello, and you smiled and said hello back.
That’s how love typically starts.
Still – we’re going to cover a few more clues you can look for.
Like this next one…
Does He Like Me? – Sign #2: He Keeps Reaching Out…
Just like his being there and not leaving, this one might seem a bit un-romantic.
But if he’s making efforts to reconnect with you – and he keeps asking you out – then he’s interested. It may not WOW you with the sheer magnitude of his effort, but it’ll keep happening. And that’s your biggest sign.
Now, this assumes he’s asked you out to begin with. Which is one of those weird places you might be right now.
You suspect he likes you, but he hasn’t busted a move yet. In that case, you have to decide how to give him his opening.
How comfortable are you at letting your interest show? On a scale of 1 to 10…
Where 1 is NOT comfortable at all – “Let him do all the work, and I’m going to not lead him on one bit.”
And 10 is really comfortable – “I’ll ask him out, and if he so much as hesitates, I’ll duct tape him up and throw him in the trunk of my car.”
Where are you on this scale?
Most women are probably in the 4 to 7 range. I’ve never formally asked, but I’ll suspect that most women fall into that zone.
Figure out where you are, then let yourself act it. This will allow you to feel committed to your way of being, and he will pick up on that as CONFIDENCE.
Does He Like Me? – Sign #3: He Teases You…
This one falls under the category of “weirdly opposite to what you think…”
But we all do this one. It’s how we started flirting on the playground when we were kids.
You liked some kid, and then you went over and proceeded to tell him he was a “Stinky butt.” And you walked away.
Oddly psycho if you think about it, but it does make sense. It’s a kids safest way to express interest without risking too much vulnerability.
You put it out there, with a built in “take back” if he doesn’t respond with his own weird way of showing his interest. You provoke him to play with you, and you can always say you were serious about that stinky butt thing if he doesn’t like you back.
AND – it’s kind of a reverse psychology thing. “I Don’t want you to like me! Don’t do it! Don’t develop any kind of romantic feelings for me.”
If this guy you’re with right now gives you a hard time, joking and teasing you to the point where you find yourself slapping him on the arm and saying, “Stop!”
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Does He Like Me? – Sign #4: He Makes Small Sacrifices…
If a guy is making small sacrifices to make you happy, he likes you.
Small sacrifices could be anything from giving you his last piece of sushi to him turning off his phone to pay attention to you.
Or maybe he just asks you what YOU want to watch on Netflix tonight…
It might seem like a small thing, but it’s his way of showing you that he cares.
Does He Like Me? – Sign #5: He LIKES Something From Way Back…
This is where he’s going back into your Facebook history to learn more about you.
You’ll know he’s trolling your Facebook if you see that he just liked a post from back in 2010 when you had just seen “Tangled” and HAD to post something about it.
You’ll know he was looking back in time trying to find out more about you. It’s a social media signal that he’s digging around – and you’re on his mind.
Freaky, but pretty cool…
Does He Like Me? – Sign #6: He Starts Acting Weirdly Uncomfortable…
One thing many people miss about romance is how we can act in strangely contrary ways.
One of those ways is avoiding eye contact where we once couldn’t stop making it before. It comes up when we become self-conscious.
And we don’t become self-conscious unless we care about what others think about us.
So if he starts being oddly shy and awkward on you, there’s a good chance he’s feeling like he needs to bust a move on you. (Does anyone even use that term anymore? ‘Bust a move‘? I’m SO 1992.)
Look for the weird flip-flops in his behavior. They can tell you how he’s starting to fall in like with you.
Does He Like Me? – Sign #7: He’s Responsive…
Guys are keenly attentive to new relationships. Meaning, he will be on top of all communications with a woman he wants.
- Maybe it’s a text you sent him, and he responds 4 seconds later…
- Maybe it’s a voicemail you left, and he’s calling you back before you finish it…
Yes, these are the times to remember, because they won’t last forever – as Billy Joel sang. A guy will be all about starting this fire up with you – especially before he’s gotten to home base. (Knowhutimean?)
So enjoy it, but remember that you don’t have to LOSE this enthusiasm and excitement, either…
You can not only get him feeling that irresistible pull of desire for you, but you can make him OBSESSED with you.
You start out with him liking you, and it builds into LOVE in just days…
You might wonder if you’ve got him under your spell…
Do you want to know for sure?