My New Guy Is Confusing… Does He Want Me or Not?

By Claire Casey
Author of Language of Desire

Does He Really Love You Or Is He Just USING YOU? Watch this special video now to finally find out the TRUTH. 

Video: How To Make A Man Connect With You (And Only You)

My New Guy Is Confusing… Does He Want Me or Not?

Things are often wobbly in a new relationship. And if you react too strongly to the wrong thing, it might be over before it gets better.

Here are 3 critical things you remember if you want to give a new relationship a fighting chance…

Claire, this new boyfriend drives me a little nuts. I REALLY like him, but he doesn’t call enough (he just texts), and I wish we would go out more often. He says he really wants me and no one else in his life, but even though he introduced me to his family I don’t feel like he has intensified our dating. We have not had sex. Is that weird? He says he’s not dating others, only me, but that I can date other people. Does he not want me, or what? This is confusing.” — Kyra

Hi, Kyra — I think your new guy sounds great! He’s not putting crazy pressure on you (for sex or anything else), he’s not asking you to stop dating other guys even though he’s committing himself to you, and he’s introduced you to his family. He sounds like a good guy to me.

Here are 3 tips that may help you while you navigate this new relationship…

1. Let a New Relationship Be NEW for a while…

Well, time PLUS a few problems here and there.The biggest thing that will help you learn more about this guy is time.


Because it’s crazy-easy to be in a relationship when there are no real issues to deal with. But how can you really know much about someone until you go through a little bit of struggle together? THAT’S when you’ll really find out something about your guy…

So relax and try to enjoy this experience of getting to know him, without trying to rush things. And once you get through a few small struggles (and this is your first one), you’ll get a better idea of how well the two of you match.

2. Remember That Everybody Has Issues (Even You)

He’s moving slowly and carefully. He doesn’t want to go faster right now, and he’s perfectly willing for you to keep dating, so why not accept the offer and see where it goes for a while?

Of course, you wouldn’t want it to stay this way FOREVER (and he doesn’t either), so set yourself a timeline and let him know how long you envision dating before making further decisions.

If you want to step up the pace a little bit, do it cautiously; he probably has good reasons for his pace — a nasty breakup, a big shift in his work or life, who knows. 

few good conversations with him may reveal what’s making him cautious. Nobody ever comes into a relationship without a few weird, painful, or hard-to-resolve issues in their past.

3. Don’t Let Minor Details Wreck an Otherwise Good Relationship

Know the difference between small stuff and deal-breakers.

For example, I wouldn’t worry right now about the “not enough talking on the phone” issue. It seems pretty minor – not a deal breaker – and you can work on that with him later if you need to.

You deserve a relationship filled with passion, and you deserve a man who loves you without reserve. It’s time to allow yourself to let an amazing man love you.

The kind of man who wants what YOU want.

Who does wonderful things for you because he wants to make you happy. A man who dreams of you and only you. Who is loyal, loving, and who waits eagerly to be with you again whenever you’re separated.

The big question is, are you ready? Are you ready for that kind of love?

Does He Really Love You Or Is He Just USING YOU? Watch this special video now to finally find out the TRUTH.